he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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