I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
please come you make the beer taste better
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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