$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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