I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
