i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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