I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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