it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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