Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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