no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize