My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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