Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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