Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Randomize
