someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
