I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he thought i was a dude.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
