I wish i was in the wii world.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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