nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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