similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
