She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
