all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
