she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
