So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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