Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize