So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
