Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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