Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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