Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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