i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
