I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
