So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
