time to smoke my breakfast
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
