can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
