so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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