How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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