You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize