i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize