well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
