worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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