I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
