I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When are your genitals available?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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