i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Im part way to drunk.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
