My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
its liver damage thursday
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
