Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
