i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
