I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize