the condom got lost in my hair
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
