He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
