i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
