Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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