Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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