I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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