She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
