I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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