I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
