I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize