I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am available for nakedness
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
