ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
