what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
