that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
