what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
