We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
