You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
