if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My feet surprised me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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