You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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