My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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