I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
