butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
