haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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