Don't you send me to vm
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
babies were throwing up all over the place
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
