ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
