Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
