Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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