hell yes lets make some ravioli
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
