I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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