you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
