By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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