i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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